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The myth of baby boys

A friend invited me to participate in an insider tour of Atwater Village in Los Angeles.Just like eye contact through a bar, it’s possible to see a block in a short time, and just knowledge. Artisan bungalows, unsmiling excellent chefs, San Diego-style mountain background: within a few hours, I arranged a month-long Airbnb here. Later I will see which enclave in Southern California I like. There are magazine subscriptions to be rerouted, some packages to mention, but no spouse or children to notify, let alone Fang.

It is not suitable for everyone, and this unfettered life is not even suitable for a few people. Yes, men with a family tend to surreptitiously ask about the untaken road. But let us boil it down to curiosity, and let us not regret it. One clue to what the public really thinks about singles is the absence of elected positions. Recently, the quarrel between Pete Buttigieg and Kamala Harris has once again raised the question of whether the United States will wear gay men or women presidents. I bet that we will at least see each one before the next unmarried one. It was true that the British elected Ted Heath in the 1970s, but by default, he did not do much on all private freedoms.

This kind of exclusion from senior positions undoubtedly escaped a disaster.A mild mocking movie (two versions of Alfie, For example) will not leave deep bruises. But it all depends on the bachelor being the premise of the arrested development case study. Looking at friends who are still single in their thirties, this is an increasingly unreliable metaphor. What distinguishes them is not their frivolity, but the serious opposite.

The most adult conversation I have with people without children. They read more, attend more, travel more (I emphasize, due to lack of mental distraction, not higher intelligence) and notice more. If you tend to like this column, please consider that half of the ideas come from these hypothetical gadgets. The idea of ​​us high-fiving each other and exchanging obscene stories in front of Leeds vs. Arsenal is Nick Hornby’s slander.

In fact, bachelors usually have more in common with Virgo clichés in their manners and manners. They are a kind of etiquette, almost a form, stemming from a dislike for the smell, stains and general noise of a family full of children. Contrary to the term “man-child”, everyone I think of is older than his passport. This sentence seems to be more suitable for round shoulders and washed T-shirts, not to mention father’s dirty anecdotes.

It is wrong to think that Eros is what keeps people single. More commonly, this is a promise of maximum control over their lives (including, usually, the choice to be alone). I know very accurately the list of cities I want to pass the rest of the decade, and in what order. No one with a family can be so mobile or so arrogantly strategic. No matter which part of the self is used here, it is not the id. In fact, if you think about it a little bit, you will find that many bachelors have shown discipline. There is nothing more self-controlling than a romance away from happiness, because it hinders other calls in life.

The accusation of self-esteem is more fair. If anything, those who made it don’t know how real it is or why. If you rarely do anything that does not reflect your exact desires right now-no school running, no cooking-your tolerance for this requirement of your time will become lower and lower. So, reverse the usual order, I was more selfish when I was 39 than when I was 24. By the age of 50, I even hate the decennial census, which is an imposing method.

But self-esteem does not equate to stupidity. Egoism is not the same as immaturity. The accepted view of being single (“oh, you boy”) does not allow it to be a pursuit of a more serious life, rather than a less serious life. Even married but curious people did not grasp the point of its beautification. Our vision expands as our promise shrinks.

Send an email to Janan janan.ganesh@ft.com

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