MNEY-3848, “Use analog digital currency instead of analog real currency.” This is one of the votes for engineers to develop solutions to problems that only exist in their heads. In a galaxy I manage, interstellar currency is priced with painful screams (wedding gifts are a special challenge), but even this is more meaningful than blockchain. In other words, we are in it now, and we need to read it through. Keep the ticket open and look for ideas.
ERTH-4873, “Fix Versailles.” A good example of an improperly worded ticket. It was submitted in 1927, so its original intention was obviously to reduce Germany’s financial burden after the First World War and avoid a second time. On the contrary, an engineer and a designer spent 20 years shaping and pruning branches and leaves in the gardens of Versailles. This is at best an edge case. When someone noticed, we were already disappointed. What, 70 million users? This is not a fee paid by stakeholders. Archive.
PNGA-8901, “Add more ice to the North Pole.” Another good ticket, I don’t understand why it was ignored. If we do this, we will have much less trouble on our hands.
MAML-0784, “Squirrel, but it has spider legs.” This is one I just hate. There is no use case, no market demand, but for some reason, at least three people think that this sim needs an eight-legged squirrel. In addition, why does it become bigger in two months of work? For any designer, this is an afternoon for the modeler. So I cannot decide if I am more annoyed because it was proposed or it did not happen. There are millions of such tickets. Don’t even mark them WONTFIX, just delete them.
I am also ending the “election of the dinosaur president” (Is this serious?); “World Pea” (a copy of ERTH-0019); “There is only one gender and race” (I tried this, and the result is more than you think Much worse); “Build a new science-based religion” (interesting idea, but you don’t know how unbearable it is); “Introduce generalized artificial intelligence” (when we let them do this, they will find This is a simulation! Remember the money the stakeholders paid us!).
In general, I think this group has forgotten the stakeholder mission, which is to build the most absurd and ridiculous universe within the limits of the laws of physics. When I first met, I did hear that they liked the American healthcare system, the pirates and cats of the Enlightenment era. They hate the American Civil War (too serious), squirrels (I think this is why some people suggest spider squirrels?) and Facebook (unavailable). Overall, this seems to be a disappointing experiment, which may be why it is difficult to obtain resources to extend it beyond this planet. I know you all feel this way. But stick to me. In my last universe, I successfully rotated more than 30 galaxies. Or you can be harvested and turned into metacognitive currency. Your call.
I may ask to arrange some evening and weekend work in advance, but you must know that I want all of us to follow the normal schedule. Obviously, we need to communicate more frequently. I will organize some epics, I don’t mean HIST-0003, “Send the cow of heaven to attack Gilgamesh”. (Seriously, let’s not go there anymore.)
I also know that you have all put in a lot of effort for this, but we should probably continue to let the moon set.
See you on Tuesday. I’ll deliver coffee.
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